Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.- Blessed Teresa of Calcutta
Angry words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.
- Children in pain
"I really enjoyed seeing you this last weekend for our visit. I'm so glad that you could open up to me about your past and childhood. Being open is something you and I definitely need to work on ...
" ... wanting your approval, fear of disappointing you, and the fear of getting in trouble or making you angry
"Over the years, as I got older, I found myself continuously letting you down - failing in my mind. I could not live up to the expectations you and mom had of me.
"So when there was an altercation, the combination of my defiance and ****** attitude I'm sure was enough to send you over the edge. Our last arguments I believe have been pretty ugly."
From the minute I learned I was treated differently from the other four kids "I immediately felt guilty. I felt like I got treated better than they did. I felt like a spoiled brat. I felt undeserving. I wanted to be treated just like they had so they couldn't make me out to be different from them.
"I know that growing up you really never placed a hand on me. I don't remember our fights really getting ugly until high school."
Angry words leave scars .....
Posts
1 comment:
I am so glad that these issues are being addressed. May God help this be a miracle intervention towards healing. Can the boys and us be a part of this conversation? This can be painful. We have actually begun these conversations as a family as the "older" siblings took steps into our twenties, as Sarah is. Remember our Michigan trip when we rented a house the first time? There were many apologies. I know I will be apologizing to my children until I die for mistakes I have made. And I will apologize to Sarah because I am sorry our issues affected her feeling of safety, purpose and significance so much. Sarah deserves to heal. Since I have--even if it never was meant to cause the struggle she has now--been a part of her pain, I want to be a part of her healing. That is what being a family member is. Peter and I sat next to a young Muslim physician who is very involved in interfaith understanding from Dallas who moved away from his New York City hometown after 9/11. Jihad, unlike many fearful people assume, does not mean make war to kill all Americans. It means that in our daily struggle we ask God for mercy. Just like Catholics look to Jesus' suffering to find mercy in our own. And that Grace and Mercy comes from the love we share. And we can share in this process of healing. God help us all to find our part. I hope I can be a part. I would love to see Sarah when the time is right. And I would love to hug Dad, Susan, Pat, Ryan and Kevin, too. xoxoxoxo
Post a Comment