Progress Report

The snow and roads cooperated on Ash Wednesday permitting Susan and me to visit Sarah. Perhaps the symbolic repentance of the day was more than mere coincidence but another patient's Lutheran pastor visited and, while there, distributed ashes to anyone wishing to receive them.Sarah did.

We aren't seeking repentance by Sarah because that is something she has to seek and in reality, is addressing as she works Tara's program, a 12-step based recovery program.

What did we hear? Sarah asked and was approved to stay in the transitional resident program so beginning Saturday she will graduate to this next tiered program that will eventually allow her to work in the community and earn a range of privileges.

She dodged the bullet she fired at herself by coming clean about breakage of some important rules. Staff discussed the seriousness of the situation, aired their concerns about Sarah's commitment to staying clean, and talked through potential risk to others. They approved her continued residency. She survived.

More than just survival, Sarah asked if we would support her living at Tara for another 30 days. In the contemporary jargon, this was HUGE!

One day at a time. We're letting this one soak in, filter through the doubt screen, and wash over our fears. For now we know we'll take this as a small step based on seeing other moments of joy dashed on the rocks. Attendance at AlAnon and a Parent Support Group (at Fairbanks) helps us understand this family disease as we put the chaos of our lives in better perspective. A friend has also suggested completing the trifecta by going for counseling. Thinking about that, too.

Who am I? Not the same person I used to be at least as far as being in denial, being quite as angry, and thinking I can control the uncontrollable. Okay so maybe I am exaggerating here because there is no real miracle for me yet. But.....

it's a journey and and I've been there, done that.