Another Progress Report

The Saturday afternoon parent education sessions are hosted by one of the Tara counselors who presents information on an alcoholic or addiction related topic. After 75 minutes we take a break after and then the clients join their families for another 45 minute group meeting. The early session lecture-discussions are followed by Q & A: What causes addiction? What can we do to help? How can we fix things? The themes for the joint sessions are more advanced: what does the addict have to do to stay clean? A variation: What are you going to do to prevent relapse?

"Sharing" stories is an enlightening process especially when it is apparent we aren't alone in facing pain. (Misery loves company?) Some are hoping for quick, easy solutions. Sad to say, that's most often a pathway to disappointment. By the time a patient hits the Recovery Program he / she is in the grips of an addiction that brings families together in crises and breaks some apart as a result. Those present are advised that a "Family Education Day" will be held later this month. A few of us realize that that day is just the beginning, the first paragraph is a novel longer than "War and Peace!"

Progress Report 2/20/2010:

The visit began with: "I've got bad news!' We just learned during the first hour that Sarah's buddy-in-recovery was going home Saturday. Her parents seemed surprised, shocked, and unprepared. We have some real doubts, no make that fears, because of the parallels: same drug of choice, similar history of OD, similar setbacks, mirrored opposition to recovery programs. Same feeling that she is not ready. Why was "she" going home and why was Sarah just approved to advance to the transitional residential program? It's a mystery.

Shock! That was NOT the bad news Sarah wanted to talk about.

Sarah's temporary sponsor, "clean" for 2 years, her daily communication pal, was not clean. Hadn't been for some time. Poof, she was gone. Sarah was in shock and more shock! Her sponsor had provided a wonderful ear, wise guidance, and she was a source of encouragement.

Saturday, Sarah was "off her game." Even with Susan present this week, Sarah was different than she had been on the last visit. Gone was the cheeriness and smiles. Without phone privileges we were unaware of the news and thus surprised by the tears of frustration. The dual losses threatened to delay her progress. We persisted in the visit but we were both concerned about how Sarah would handle the setbacks. We left her in her tears with a promise to keep spirits up.

She stayed strong. Later in the evening Sarah opened up to one of the staff aides who herself is in long term recovery. The aide helped as did a call from another surrogate, a temporary sponsor who checked in with Sarah on Sunday morning.

More credit to Sarah for her commitment. She earned a phone pass and called early afternoon. She talked through her steps to reengage, completed a few recovery tasks, and processed her own feelings.

And us? We drove the long way home yesterday. Talked about the day, talked about whether Sarah would sustain her progress, and found empathy her given the bad news bumps in the road. For each of us, these bumps are daily events --- for someone in recovery they could be triggers, just enough to push them into escapism. As Sarah admitted, she was glad she was at Tara at that moment because she was safe. She's learning.

She was well, she survived a couple of bumps "on the road to Sarah's recovery."