Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

Cunning is the addict

Knows just what you want to hear
Teases you with hope, tests you with words
Sincerity dripping, peace held just out of reach
Teases you with hope, tests you with words
Challenges all you believe, hope, and teach
Burns dreams you've long held dear
Cunning is the addict.

Damn drug lies. Damn lying drugs.

It sounds like I'm more worried about the side-effects of addiction on us, doesn't it? I'm owning up to the fact that lies just go with addiction. We're no different. We want to believe what we're told but now we just begin every conversation with the presumption that all we hear is a lie. That's sad because searching for the truth is harder that sensing the lie; not searching among the words for lies, searching instead for what threads are true.

We sustain our selves with the hope that the light of truth will shine bright enough for Sarah to see the way to buck the burden of drugs. We look for any sign that she will soon abandon the path of darkness and emerge as the real Sarah. Pretty soon the misery of poverty, unhappiness, and crushed self esteem will jolt her to her senses. The promises of euphoria, the escape from pain, and unburdened guilt are lies the drugs tell Sarah. That attraction and release are what the drugs say she can find with the next injection.

We are stunned by the choices she make and the bond she has with convict-to-be BF. I'm sorry she is misleading herself about school, fudging about drug use, and only just staying just in and out of touch. Expect her to drop out of school with a bunch on incompletes this week. During my last conversation with Sarah this week I could hear BF in the background berating her for lying to me about school. Was he telling the truth or was she? I chose to believe the lie, but which one?

Patience, detachment, and prayer are our tools. We're staying firm in our resolve not to feed the addiction in anyway. Strangely she says BF's parents give him money for gas and pay his phone bill. She wonders why we don't do the same. Strangely she says BF lies to his parents. Hmmm, is that a lie?

Oh, did I mention that I was a pretty skilled liar as a child? I was. Maybe that's why I am so skeptical today. Am I lying now? I lie every time I give vague answers about how things are going for Sarah. Is that really lying? Is it the incomplete truth?

We do have lives to lead. Our other children have exciting lives we want to share. We like to travel to visit and to enjoy time with them. I'm sure they are miffed that we write about Sarah's pain and search for recovery. We have shorted the others. We do poke one another on Facebook and we share the latest pictures there. When not to overwhelmed or depressed, we even call, but far less. The news isn't that good and we have been terrible listeners. Sorry.

The KofC Fish Fry was great again tonight. Probably 350 served. Outstanding volunteers, great meal deals! We look forward to the Michigan Fish Fry when we're together in August.

Lily Tomlin's 2nd album was entitled "And That's the Truth"! Thank you Edith Ann.