What Do You Say?

LISTEN first! Listen to the addict. Listen to yourself. What are you hearing?

Your child (spouse, friend, other) in some limited or unlimited way just moved from being borderline in-control to out-of-control.

Arrest, serious impairment, repeated episodes! Living in the same place is no longer possible. The angry arguments, denial, physical confrontations, or risk to other family members. You've thought about saying "leave!" but you can't do it.

Yes, the therapist helped. She talked to your child for a year and spent a few minutes at the end of each session with you. No specifics are shared but listen carefully. If the chemistry between you is good you can hear coaching. Watch for this, she needs to work on that, read this book. Take care of your self.

Why do we put off education? Reading one book does not confer expertise. Read more. It helps to earn a Master's Degree in the dynamics of addiction. Read "Chicken Soup for the Scared Parent!" "CS for the Enabler" "CS for the Controlling Parent" who thinks he can build a bullet-proof behavioral contract.

Your journey may be awful. Nothing has prepared you for anything but the storybook dream. High school, college, job/career, and a bright future. Even without college that UPS job, the motorcycle mechanic certification or the CISCO cert is a passport to a secure future.

We've said it a hundred times. My dream was not to bury my child. My dream was never to stand in the doorway and say "you can't come in!"

Listen to yourself! You've read it, you've been to parent education, and you read the books. Searched the web, made contact with support groups, and you "know some people who sent their child to ..... and now they're 6 years into a profession!'