If you want a professional writer's view on addiction, particularly from a father's viewpoint, you may wish to read "A Beautiful Boy" by David Sheff. If the URL link works, you can click and follow to a New York Times review. The book will help you jump ahead to his conclusions. In this blog don't expect A CONCLUSION, just a number of WAYPOINTS.Janet Maslin's review begins: "Addiction is a compulsion to do the same thing over and over, despite knowing that the outcome will almost certainly be the same. Addiction memoirs often illustrate this same definition of insanity. They follow the same arc, voice the same helplessness and arrive at the same set of conclusions. Yet the genre itself remains so addictive that readers keep hoping to discover something new."
Change the name, change a few details, and voila', you arrive at a cliche': if you've read one, you'ver read them all, but they're addictive.
We personalize the story of those we love.
We may crave or deny our role in the family and in the addiction. My reaction to the book, the resources I've read, and the humble research so far amounts to this: each case is different and yet the same; the outcome may vary, but may not; the reaction and support of family is gratifying; the support and prayers of acquaintances is genuine and appreciated ... thank you for thinking of us!
Today we noodle through the maze of mostly non-options and elusive straws, although it occurs to me to read Janet's opening line again: "Addiction is a compulsion to do the same thing over and over, despite knowing that the outcome will almost certainly be the same." So Susan and I are addicts too! We're looking for a winning move in the addiction board game - a game where we are barely more than supportive spectators. We're placing some bets that do not determine the outcome despite wishes to the contrary. Sarah and her battle success in battling the disease are in God's hands, the higher power.
On the horizon: what happens after detox? Is a halfway house still an option when the addiction is so strong? Are there long term recovery options available with substantial support to transition to sober, healthy living? Does the fact that she can't break the link to the using BF doom anything tried locally?
How serious are the potential legal entanglements that are just now surfacing? No facts yet, just inquiries. It's pretty hard to support a substantial habit with a corroded brain, repressed judgment, and no job. Money came from somewhere.
I have the feeling we'll be discussing "natural consequences" in the near future. Hope not. Guess I'm just steeling myself for the next turn of events. Maybe not.
Posts
1 comment:
These are the hard but necessary questions. Of course, no one can know with certainty. One possibility is a long term, therapeutic community. They appear to vary in effectiveness. I am guessing that you have looked into them, but I can provide some leads if you want me to. The best ones seem to be self supporting since they don't qualify for insurance. The work component is probably helpful but so much else has to go right, too. Our love and support are unflagging. Tom
Post a Comment