Let GO, Let GOD

Remember the last entry? Seems like just yesterday to me. Here's the run-down of the recent news which will catch you up to today:

O'Bama, McPain, Lipstick, WaMu, AIG......oops, wrong drama!

Questions on the Path to Recovery:

Halfway House: What is a Halfway House? Its purpose? What is required of the residents? How do you achieve the goals and benefits of living in a HH?

Those questions are good to ponder, especially as one makes the transition away from "program living" to the next phase of supported recovery. Maybe we all were so excited that one milestone had been passed (program living at the Ranch) that we underestimated the difficulty of the journey to next phase of recovery & reentry! We wanted to help Sarah accept the transition with open arms. All we had to do was arrive at the doorstep, utter the words "good luck, I love you!" and she would be successfully launched. No transitional issues. Ummm, I think the "open arms" were really arms flailing against convention.

The Transition:

Okey-dokee! You may have had your doubts, too. We were naive believing one could go from a protective, 24 x 7 environment to a halfway environment, without encountering bumps. That brings me to the questions I asked above about the HH concept. On a cerebral level one needs, at a minimum, to have pondered the HH FAQs and found inner peace with the sacrifices entailed in HH living. Hmmmmm! Take this assumption upfront! Get buy-in with mind and heart, especially the addict's mind and heart! Not easy said the circumspect author of this

Commit & Act on Commitments:

On a visceral level, commitment is nice. It feels good. Commit to more than just a fixed time frame. Commit to accept the purpose; commit to this recovery step: it must be worked, not just winked at! Commit to further testing the waters and developing life and social skills needed for independent, sober living. Commit to sobriety and drug free living to save your life. Use the safe environment to reestablish life's rhythms: sleep, eat, pray, communicate, work, find a sponsor, go to meetings .... develop a routine!

Independence:

Oh, but that taste of freedom! The sweet smell of independent living. The Nike mantra that drives a generation: "Just Do It" Oops, there I go again, forgetting that "my way" is not unique to this generation. Just ask Frank Sinatra when he reflected his life's summary: "I did it my waaaay!"

Reality:

Oh, the cold shower of economic reality. The grease of commerce: money! Don't leave home without it. The basic economic cycle: work, earn, spend - within your limits. Hats off to Sarah, she got this step started. Second cold shower: hourly rate times hours worked minus withholding equals net pay. We generally hope that expenses minus net pay is sufficient to "live" especially if one decides to skip the HH experience where one gives up some individual space and freedom for the collective support of an HH to achieve the overarching goal of healthy living. Learn the skills, practice them, then transition to the next phase.

You Don't Understand: As an outsider, not an addict, all that is easy to say. If you're wired like Sarah you may think otherwise. I think you must knowingly meet the cerebral and visceral challenges and make the necessary commitments. All that is pretty daunting. Acceptance is a huge leap from the protective living arrangements.

In Defense of the Halfway House Plan:

After the earlier midnight misadventure and the week + time in the penalty box, Sarah returned to the halfway house only to attempt to remodel the rules by taking a midnight ride to the Gas Station. Um-hum. Busted. Those dang rules! Out darned spots, you're a blot on the reputation of the 1/2way house. Not really! The HH is not an uncaring demon. Halfway houses have rules to help people reenter society, to live with control of urges, and to provide minimum support for clean living. Supplement that wiith counseling and the 12-Step program and a sponsor. HH's have rules. Let go, let God. Follow them, work on the important things like staying clean.

Sarah's Path and Light Changes in Our Approach:

Credit to Sarah. She moved back to the guys' sober house, while not ideal, at least provides a roof and connections to others who are trying to stay clean. Kinda like an HH, only not quite! We just listen and listen and offer ideas. Mostly Susan, that is. Sarah and I are just now starting to take our conversations beyond, "hi, how are you, what you doing, things OK" kind of patter. I'm more the "hug them" and get the "touch experience" that says "I love you" and "it'll be ok". Not the world's best communicator, here.

Status:

Susan went to AA (Ann Arbor) last weekend. Again. Sarah's partner in crime moved to another couch at the boys' place, too. Halfway houses are not for them but they are working on a plan that involves their own place. Oh, and 3 friends relapsed this week. Not Sarah but the potential roommate who got kicked out of the HH with Sarah. Not the end, just a bump in the road to recovery.

Sarah is still clean. She's trying to clear a path. Doesn't want to live with the boys any more. She's working on it. Yahoo!

Keep those prayers and thoughts coming. Thank you.

Susan and I went to a parent support group, today. Felt good. Sort of. Susan is still sane. Bless her heart, she's found an escape. Work. Now she needs to stop with the dang cigarettes. Stress, dang it.

LG2:

Let go, let God. Let go, let God. Let go, let God. Let go, let God!

Thank you for your many kindnesses.