All right, where have you been?
Lazy? Nope. Busy? Nope. Well, somewhat, I guess. Chicago after New Orleans and then Decatur and Warsaw. Planned input for mid-year review ... that's another story that I'll just bottle for now. I was a slug this weekend. Had plans but just hiked a bit with Maggi and worked on the master "repair plan" to start prepping the house for sale. Oh, we did go to the State Fair on Friday night. (Yes we saw you around 9:30 PM but you (K&G) were talking with someone and we didn't want to interrupt!)
Well, then what? Does it really matter "what". Not really.
Okay, I've been depressed. We took a hard line. Had a pretty good argument, tears, angry words, "you don't care", guilt floating, etc.
We do care. Coming back to Indiana is just not an option, not even for 1 hour. You know what will happen. You'll want to be unsupervised and then you'll disappear and then call and say "I'll be home" but then not really until you're in trouble. No more deception, no chances to undo everything you (and we've) invested in the last year.
We did take a hard line on BF. No. He's out of jail and in "out patient." This is his first real recovery attempt and, from limited experience, I have my doubts about the successful outcome, if only because, few young people I've read about ever "get it" the first couple of times.
Thank goodness for staying in touch with the kids.
No, I don't say anything briefly.
Fast forward to now.
1. Nashville halfway house may be full. Sarah reinterviewed to handle her doubts and theirs, however there may not be a bed available.
2. Today Sarah got in a little trouble for breaking the rules (imagine that). Phone restrictions. Went bonkers. "Take me home now! I hate this place." She calmed down but it wasn't a good sign and still reinforces how hard it will be when S&S are 1-on-1. Not ready for prime time.
3. Ann Arbor has a number of halfway houses. Yeah, Michigan, actually 30 minutes closer than Nashville. We'll learn more tomorrow.
4. How much of this is really urgent? Oh, gosh. Did I tell you about the birthdays? Yep. Did I tell you Sarah will be released from the Ranch next Wednesday on 8/20? How about the fact that we're planning a visit to celebrate her birthday THIS weekend? (Up - down, back & forth?)
5. Maybe we could combine the birthday with the trip to Ann Arbor.
6. Oh yeah, the vacation to SF, Juneau, & Seattle was for "2". We had planned a get-a-way to see brother Tom, Kevin & Kate, and meet Kate's Mom in Olympia WA. It's down to one of us going. Pretty depressing when you consider that she was going to head to school this weekend. (It can wait.) I dislike travel and family events without Susan.
Guess I am complaining but only because I'm thinking of myself.
Here's some good news.
1. Sarah and Ryan talked. It's a good start. 2. We really had a wonderful conversation with Sarah a few nights ago. 3. She wrote a beautiful letter a few days ago. Very mature. Excellent expression and insight. 4. She wants to do the right things. 5. The halfway house options sound like they're just what she's ready for.
We miss the good times. We're sorry for the hard times. We accept our part of the bad times. We will rebuild, some together, some apart. We will be better for it. We hope!
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1 comment:
It's really disappointing to hear that Susan won't be coming on the trip. We understand the "why," but it doesn't mean that it's not disappointing all the same.
I don't feel like talking to Sarah is worth much right now (even though it is nice to hear her voice) because it seems that she's just going to say whatever she thinks we want to hear. Example: we talked on Friday night and she sounded really positive. She separately told Kate and I that she was ready for the Tennessee halfway house and knew that it was a big commitment but she was ready. So come Sunday when we talked to Susan, it was pretty astounding to hear that Sarah put up more "resistance" and Ann Arbor was now the new gig. Hard to imagine that Sarah just up and changed her mind so quickly. Hard to think she's not just hitting the talking points when appropriate. Hard to believe that she's willing to do whatever it takes to succeed. It's hard to have faith, and sometimes my prayers are angry prayers. I can't imagine how draining this is for Dad and Susan.
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