Connection

The weekend ended Sunday midnight, chronologically and physically. We were exhausted by the draining examination of family of origin, roles & systems, our needs and expectations, and the foundation for sustaining a healthy recovery. Talk about Cat Scans and X-Rays!

Sarah and I looked eye to eye all the way into each other's heart, connecting across the chasm that grew with increased drug use. Susan joined in but this time did not prop up either of us. Our youngest child carried her own weight, owning decisions and actions, showing progress on what will be a longer, tougher journey than imagined. The proverbial first step has begun from where she stands today. Her next 4 weeks on the road to recovery begin in a stabilized body, in a clearer head, and with noticeably greater commitment to recovery.

As she processes the challenges, practices the skills, and confronts the influences of this evil disease we adjust our expectations. Small steps in a very long journey. Sarah admits the journey could be as short as one more fix and death. The admission scares us because we are unable to detect in Sarah any signs of anxiety over her near-death experiences. She talks of her history of abuse dispassionately and defends her using-friend relationships and clings to a bf who is both an addict and an addiction.

All of us know recovery from addiction is a very long journey. Many of you walked The Trail with me in 2005 but that was an experience measured by time and distance. Imagery and metaphors apply to both the Trail and Recovery: ascent and descent, physical and mental, beauty and beast, commitment and persistence. Recovery does not use distance measurements but it uses time measured by seconds, minutes, hours, and days. Every one can be a challenge.

We have read about addiction yet don't really know much, reinforcing the adage that the more you know, you know how little you know! We are however finding importance in each moment. We are grateful for the joy of yesterday, hope for tomorrow's recovery, and accept the gift of today.

We loved every minute with Sarah. The time was indeed a gift of love and hope. We will always be vigilent.