The Circle of ....

The Pattern Circle seems to me to be a complexity of geometric shapes having variable dependencies. Move one element, many others shift in reaction! Remember the child's game "Pick Up Sticks"? Like that, just harder.

For this blog entry, you see my imperfect pictoral of addiction and relationships. Imagine this pattern includes one person at the core with other shapes representing family members, work associates or a team, and others who touch our daily lives. Spaces between the shapes are places in our lives, each one's goals, relationships, genetic code, daily events, and the unique behaviors of each participant.

Now label the person at the core an "addict". The pattern circle shifts with the effects of the addictive behavior, undergoing adjustment that rebalances the relationships between the other elements. Because each element represents another's distinct will and behaviors, the Pattern Circle undergoes radical shifts as addiction plays out its destructive deeds. Relationships are altered. Shapes change. Some pieces break off and fall away.

Was the addict an addict by choice, a product of the environment, or infected by gene inheritance?

Next, consider that not just one person is an addict. When overlaying the Pattern Circle with the complexity of other persons, the effects of disease on the Pattern Circle shifts geometrically, maybe exponentially! Many of us grew up around an addict and developed coping skills or mechanisms, healthy or not. Examples: denial, enabling, simmering anger, need to control, or unrealistically high goals. Some carry or inflict scars of anger and abuse, too, for our shapes in the Pattern Circle are not crisp; they may be damaged, bruised or dented, and our colors are less vibrant as our lives show the effects of having lived in a diseased environment.

Not being able to trust other people is a barrier to healthy, loving relationships because the long practiced defensive mechanisms operate constantly. Because many in the pattern are skilled at hiding things and creating deceptions, those outside the Pattern Circle may not notice. Without blame but with heighten awareness, we learn disease-affected people often "pass it on." One wonders whether addiction is a "biblical curse" applied to generations on end? Who was first? Adam? Was Eve an enabler? Were they all in denial?

Can the cycle be broken? Yes! Help and support is available through counseling, support groups, and the traditional AA / NA / CA, etc. Help is available for those in the Pattern Circle, too. Counseling, support groups, and the traditional AlAnon, NarAnon, AlaTeen, etc. Just reach out and be touched! I believe we can fight addiction together and together get better!

Ease Up! Easy Does It.