Love and Anger

Here is a question to explore. We love Sarah. We've been fooled. We're mad.

At what or whom?

For me, it's been a long journey to focus anger not at what happened, how it is disrupting our lives, when it began, or who she hung out with. (Okay, I still pretty steamed about that latter item!) I love Sarah. I hate the addiction. I hate the addicted behavior, the rotten choices, and all the other obvious accoutrements. Still steamed that the addictive behaviors led her to abandon a strong recovery plan.

I ask you to consider that once the addiction went full speed we are no longer dealing with Sarah, the rational, loving child, sister, or friend. To me, that Sarah is lost and we're using recovery to find her. She is incapable of rational decision-making at this time. Think of the addiction as a slowly revealed stroke that traps its victim in the prison of a useless shell. There is hope she will come out of the shell but also great risk that she will die.

Love her, hate the addiction. Seek understanding and love. You may need that peace to deal with the next stages of her life.

Love and prayer.

-oldyeller